 So exactly how did this happen, you ask? How could a hopeless romantic like me (and an “under wraps” flamenco dancer from the age of four) give up my hard-earned career as a professor of Spanish and follow my best friend (Mahmoud) to live in Iran?
It may not appear to make a whole lot of sense. Yet answering the question “how did this happen?” is really quite simple. Being the “hopeless romantic” I was, I decided to follow Mahmoud out of love (the romantic variety). But in the back of my mind lurked an irksome question: In the end, can Iran really feed the soul of this hopeless romantic? Is there any hope of living the dance of a flamenco dancer? I wasn’t really a flamenco dancer (or even of Hispanic heritage), but I'd always longed to live a flamenco dance metaphor: to break out of the quiet, routine conventions and express the music and drama welling within me. When I looked toward Iran, I had to wonder. From where I was standing, I saw nothing to inspire me. And If I dared step inside its tightly knit borders, what would happen to the music and rhythms within me? What would happen to the beauty, the drama, the colors? And without these components, could the love that Mahmoud and I shared really “conquer all”? Of course, inherent to this discussion was a larger question—a whole line of larger questions, in fact: What about differences in our countries’ cultural practices? In our faith traditions? In our racial identities? How might the values attached to each set of differences threaten a lasting love relationship between Mahmoud and me? When marrying across cultures, marrying across races, marrying across faith traditions, would love be enough to keep us together? If I may, let me open the doors of discussion more widely and invite you, my readers, to share your own thoughts, opinions, and/or experiences: When it comes to romantic relationships across differences of culture, race, faith, is love enough to conquer all? If not, what are the obstacles that make them impossible? If so, what are the factors that make them work?
4 Comments
Linda Anschutz
12/8/2021 12:25:03 pm
Love, in its truest sense, is enough to "conquer all". Love, in the romantic sense, is not. It is often of an idealized view of reality. It usually does not stand the test of time. To do so it must be accompanied with open, honest, fluid communication and the continual efforts to care for the other's well being and happiness in all aspects of their life. It is to forgive one another, respect each other and be there for the other, unconditionally. While romantic love can be a great place, or fun way, to start a relationship (as it often is!), it does not always remain in tact over the long haul of a relationship. Hopefully it will morph into a more solid and longer lasting type of love.
Leslie
12/8/2021 07:30:28 pm
What a thoughtful, and in my opinion, wise reflection on the different levels and dynamics of love! I appreciate your description of the different categories, and have lived long enough to recognize (and to have experienced) the highs and lows of them all.
Pat
12/8/2021 01:06:01 pm
Love guarded and cultivated with Will and Faith. Specific and mysterious passion and admiration. Romantic feelings wax and wane, yet can be restored and promoted
Leslie
12/8/2021 07:52:45 pm
I love your choice of words in response to the question: “What are the factors that make it work (namely, love across cultural, racial, or faith-related differences)?” An act of will and an act of faith, with moments of both waxing and waning— but you mention passion having a rightful and mysterious place as well. I hear reminisces of the voice of my mother in this. Leave a Reply. |
AuthorDr. Leslie Ahmadi discovered her intercultural calling in her parents’ home at age four--where between the jazz, the spirituals, and the rock ‘n roll music, she heard folk songs in languages from around the world. Thirty years later she had a doctorate in foreign language and culture education--and her folk song guitar never far away. Archives
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